I may preach others all the time but honestly it takes a lot of effort to act graciously when it comes to criticism. Let’s be real for a moment. If somebody comes to you and calls you beautiful, you’ll smile believing it to be true. But if the same person points to your flaw, you wouldn’t accept it as easily as you did in the first case. At least this happens to me. Well, I wanted to write about the same incident as a rant but why not turn it into something positive?
It was a casual meet with friends in a cafe. I was going through something on my phone and waiting for my other friends to join me. Now I need to tell a few words about these friends of mine. I know them for like a couple of months. Sometimes we hang out in weekends, go for coffee or dinner.
Ashi, one of the girls in the group joined me on the table. All of a sudden she said, “You should watch yourself when you talk… ” . I had no effing idea of what she was talking about! Neither did I ask nor did she refer to the context. Soon after this others also joined us and we didn’t talk about it anymore. As I have already told that I’m quite new to this group, I talk very less. Generally I take considerable time to mix with new people and speak my mind. Until that time, I observe everyone and mostly listen to what others say and think. This helps me to decide to what extent I can unveil my weird shit to people. So in my opinion, this bunch of people are yet to know me! Although I replied with a smile to Ashi, there was a lot going on into my mind-
Stage 1: It turned off my mood instantly. I was desperately trying not to be in bad mood that unknowingly made me hate Ashi. “I just hate her! Who the heck she thinks she is! Rather, she should watch herself before pointing finger to me. She doesn’t even qualify to judge me! For judging me, she has to know me well which she doesn’t!”
Stage 2: Anger turned into sadness and hopelessness. “Everybody hates me. Ashi was right. It would be better if I don’t open my mouth at all or rather be invisible.”
Stage 3: In the mean time, I figured out the context. It was a joke that I cracked the previous night and apparently nobody got the joke and thought it was rude. “Poor people! I should not make any sarcastic comment around them, they can’t appreciate my sense of humour.”
Stage 4: This is the final stage, where halo appears over my head. After this much of overthinking and over-analysis I finally give up on hating that person or feeling bad about myself. Nobody is perfect, neither am I. Although Ashi knows me for a short period of time and I think I haven’t opened up much in front of her, I should see if I can really work on it. It’s not because I want to shut her mouth, rather it’s for my personal growth. Even if I can’t be everybody’s favourite but as long as I’m getting better, I think it’s okay!
Another incident happened yesterday that I think is relevant to what I’m saying. I review restaurants in zomato very often. But my way of reviewing is pretty simple, one can read it in 10 seconds and get the useful information. I’m not a food blogger or a food critic. Last weekend a person texted me in Instagram referring to my zomato reviews. He claimed that he found my reviews interesting and there’s some opportunity to explore new restaurants at our place. According to him, some restaurants are inviting him to taste their newly launched cuisines and review them. Apparently there’s a group of people who are accompanying him in the tasting-table. He shared a venue and time with me. This person is complete stranger to me, nevertheless I replied. I have already seen his blogs and Insta account, so there was no doubt about his background. For no reason I was going to meet this stranger but my friends suggested me to verify his information and take up this opportunity. In reply to his 1st message I asked him a few queries about the event, if management is gonna bear the expenses etc. This person got so furious after seeing my message that he literally sent me 2-3 long essays. In nutshell it was all about how significant he is as a food blogger and how insignificant I am. I’m not even a foodie/blogger/critic bleh bleh bleh. I was really not expecting anything like this. This time I jumped straight to stage 4. There’s nothing bad in being rational. I would never agree to meet a stranger for the sake of free food(that also not confirmed as “free”). He’s right in saying that I’m none of a food-critic or anything. But that’s okay, I don’t even claim or want to be so! There’s no point of feeling sad for getting a hate-message from an easily butthurt stranger.