Sushant Singh Rajput’s death has shaken me to the core #233

Sushant Singh Rajput, a 34 year old Bollywood actor was found dead in his Bandra (Mumbai) flat last Sunday, 14th June, 2020.

Sushant came from a middle class family of Bihar. He was a very bright student, he had held 7th Rank in AIEEE (ALL India Entrance Examination). Sushant had great interest in Physics and Astronomy, he graduated as an engineer. He even got a scholarship from Stanford University but financial constraints stopped him…

Sushant was a great fan of Shahrukh Khan and he wanted to be an actor. He started with Hindi series and successfully made his way into Bollywood, the film industry… Sushant was very hard-working, he put his heart and soul in attempt to bring life to the roles he had played. Money and show-off wasn’t everything to him. After all he way different from the people around him in the film industry.

I have seen Sushant playing the character of Manav in Pavitra Rishta. Those were the days I was in school, I never liked the serial and Sushant didn’t draw my attention then. He participated in celebrity dance shows along his female co-actor from the same show- I wasn’t a fan of him even at that time. To be honest I am not a die-hard fan of any actor/actress.

I have seen him in TV from my childhood, his debuted in Bollywood in the movie “Kai Po Che” (2013) when I was in college. He already starred movies like Shuddh Desi Romance(2013), PK(2014), Detective Byomkesh Bakshy(2015), M. S. Dhoni the untold story(2016)– by the time I graduated. His other movies are Raabta, Kedarnath(2018), Drive and Chhichhore (2019).

I watched M. S. Dhoni and PK out of all the movies he did and M.S. Dhoni was the movie that swept me off my feet!

It is unfortunate that I did not watch his other movies, when he was still alive… I did not show enough appreciation to his work. After all I am just one person, right? Would it really matter if I watch his movies or not. When last year Chhichhore was released my colleagues made a plan without me and watched the movie- I so badly wanted to watch the movie! But it has happened many times in my life that I couldn’t watch a good movie or my favourite show- it didn’t bother me at that time.

More or less, I was a “passive” fan of him… I did not watch all his movies, I knew he was a good actor and had a charming personality… That’s it…

Last Sunday I read the news of Sushant’s death. Sushant committed suicide hanging from a fan in his flat where he used to live alone… I couldn’t believe what I read, what I heard, my heart wanted to think otherwise.

Many claimed that Sushant was suffering from depression for a while. He entered into Bollywood with his own capability, he didn’t have a father figure in the film inductry to support him. He was being boycotted by the top-class producers – which made him so much depressed. How would he survive in Bollywood if nobody would take him in movies?

I was devastated to hear the news, even after seven days are gone, I cannot get over what has happened. Sushant’s death felt like a personal loss to me… I don’t why… I just cannot forget the picture I had seen, his lifeless body- it did not have the glory of the Bollywood hero, after all he was a man made of blood and flesh.

We all will die oneday or the other, that is ultimate truth of life. None of the things that we are obsessed with in our mortal life, would go with us when we will leave his world. It is a gentle reminder to all of us to appreciate what we have, to treat each other kindly, to spread love and compassion in the world.

After his death, Bollywood fraternity started writing good things about him, everybody was posting his pics, his old videos… These seven days I have watched so many of his interviews- I can’t even tell.

It’s heart-wrenching to see that the death brought him so much attention and love but probably this love and attention could have saved his life …

Sushant was an introvert, a Physics nerd. He was a devotee of Lord Shiva, a down-to-earth guy. He was full of motivation and charisma, his Instagram has a fair share of proof of his interest in the sky and the world beyond. He had learnt to operate a plane, he had been to NASA! He had a telescope to watch the moon and stars from his balcony. He had brought the house of his dream. Just day before yesterday I discovered that he had a YouTube channel too, with just 3 videos of him. In his free time he liked to read. He was learning to code as well.

Now after his death, ever his pet dog is famous. The poor creature, who would never know why his owner is suddenly gone…

When I was still indulged in the thought that Sushant had committed suicide due to depression… Many other news started speculating. Police have started investigating the case. Sushant had attended party with his friends the night before his death, he took his anti-depressant pills even the night of his death. The duplicate key of his flat was reported to be missing. The mark on his neck did not look like the mark that would be caused from hanging… Many such observations/assumptions/reports are coming out. Somebody could have killed him in own house… who knows! His family, friends, co-workers are being interrogated by the Police…

I just hope that the truth is discovered. I hope that Sushant’s old parents recover from the heart-break.

Even though I did not know him personally and watched barely 2-3 of his films, there is this irresistible pain that I would never get to watch a new movie of this young fellow, he is gone, forever…

I pray to the almighty for his soul. May his soul rest in peace.