I don’t remember meeting you for the first time… But I remember that you used to walk in front of me… Switch on the radiator and then go to your seat which was far away from mine.
You seemed to be very calm at first … I never understood what was up with your own squad. You had a close circle of friends.
Days passed and things changed. So did your place. You started sitting next to me… We didn’t have the same work and we did it like it was.
It was just the work and nothing else. I wouldn’t lie. I have dreamt you once or twice. We had a moment in those dreams and my heart believed in it. You were always everybody’s favourite.
Our friendship didn’t cross the boundary of the work. Ever. Birthdays, new years and Diwali passed by… Never heard from you. But I knew you were up all night on new year’s day calling all these people.
Me and my stupid dreams.
Our roles changed… It was time to take orders from you. All of it happened so fast.
Then one day you sent me this really long message telling about your accident. I called you right back but I didn’t show any emotional reaction… Rather we talked about how the work is going to continue.
I stepped in to your shoes. It was overwhelming at times cause I had my commitments too. That was the time I understood your work and your attitude towards it. You actually feel that you are the boss but a cool one. It doesn’t matter now. I was doing my work. You were doing yours.
I worked with my heart and soul… Maybe because you were there.
One fine day I went out you guys… The day you got so incredibly drunk you couldn’t hold yourself together… You held my hand and called me sister… You praised me for my hardwork.
I was still living in those moments in my dreams but I never made an effort to make it true. You already had chosen your companion and our conversation never extended beyond work.
I wasn’t deeply hurt or traumatized for you calling me sister. Even though our heart believe in stupid things… Our senses know the truth of it.
Our roles changed again and I was no more to take orders from you. We were still in sync. Then one day you told me about your new job and I realized that this was it.
I asked you if we could hang out one day after work… But that didn’t happen.
You went to parties every other day but I never heard from you. Probably it doesn’t matter to you. After all… You’re leaving this work and I’m just another face you’ve been seeing every single day for 2 years without much care.
I have always cared about the little things. I think your drinking habit is a little bit out of control… But that’s just my opinion. I don’t appreciate the fact that you didn’t give me a chance to say goodbye the way I wanted…
Today I came home so heartbroken… Almost on the verge of tears. Not sure what was more upsetting … You not calling me to the party or your leaving.
It’s okay. I won’t ask you to stay in touch because I know you would get busier than you’ve ever been and even if not I would not make it through the list of people you care about. I might be being petty right now and I know I’ll be over it soon but one day I want to come back and tell myself, yes I did that!