Is there anyone reading this has waited for 24 years to drink for the first time?
I don’t think so.
I’m 24 years old, working and single. Drinking is not looked upon as a glorious thing in my family. I didn’t have any close friend during school or college who used to drink. I myself had no interest in consuming alcohol as well. In many countries drinking might be an inseparable part of life and certainly India is not one of them.
Even though I never had close encounter with a drunk person, I understand that drinking makes people lose control… control of their speech and action. To be honest I know that it is a vague statement to make. I have little knowledge in this matter, I admit that. Every alcoholic drink has different amount of alcohol, every person has different level of tolerance, there are other external factors that can stimulate the process of “being drunk”. Consuming alcohol doesn’t necessarily imply being drunk but today I wanna focus only on the latter.
Being drunk, drunk texting… this all things I heard about from people I know and from internet. But I wanted to experience that by myself. Last week I was having some conversation in this context with one of my friends and the immediate reaction of my friend was, “Why do you want to be drunk? You already embarrass yourself enough while being sober. You don’t need drinks for that.”
He’s partially correct in saying that because my friends know me well. But until I feel it by myself I am not gonna believe it, okay?
I was thinking to taste alcohol first. But how can I do that?
1/ Mostly I go out with my colleagues and that is not the best situation to try out things.
2/ I could buy directly from the shop. There is always rush in front of the wine shops and I have never seen a single girl/woman around there, so it would be uncomfortable.
3/ I don’t know what to buy, what to taste. I am too lazy to research on it. I don’t wanna take opinion as well.
4/ So the last option is to try it when I go out with Sissy.
Now why did I keep her as a last option? Sissy is very sweet and innocent. My elder sister and most free-of-judgements guardian in the house as the I’m the youngest in our house. She has no interest even in tasting alcohol. So primarily I wanted to keep her out of the scene. But ultimately I realized that I have no friends and no social life so she’s my one and only option. In the mean while my objective to taste alcohol for the first time changed into being drunk for the first time. That implies the person who is happened to be with me have to take care of me if I pass out.
I told Sissy about my thoughts and she didn’t show much of a response. Eventually me and Sissy went out on her birthday. There was still no plan for “being drunk”. I have such low confidence on myself, I didn’t know what I was gonna do… I didn’t wanna ruin her birthday at any cost, also I had to pay the bill.
After ordering the appetizers they gave me the drinks menu and suddenly my mind changed. I looked at the pages and didn’t understand a thing. It was like simply clueless about the menu, what should be my first freaking drink?
I would not like anything that tastes or smells bad and people had warned me before, “You are not gonna like the taste. People don’t drink for the taste, they drink for the sensation… blah blah blah” I ended up in cocktails. At least I could think of the fruit flavors and select one.
My cocktail arrived, it looked no different from mocktails I usually go for. It smelled somewhat like spirit and tasted normal with a hint of unknown flavor. We continued with the main course, I was critically judging the drink by every sip.
I don’t know how much alcoholic content a cocktail is supposed to have but I had to prepare for the worst. I legit gave my sister a list of things to do if I get drunk.
> Do not let me use my phone at any cost. I am so sure of drunk texting my crush…
> Here’s the money, this is my treat even if I pass out.
> Book a cab and get back to home as soon as possible.
> Please don’t disown me if I tell anything bad.
> You have to tell me everything in details on the next day morning.
> After that pretend like it never happened.
Sissy was laughing at me for this. After the appetizers, rest of the course was on buffet. I was wearing a high heel. I don’t usually wear that kind of heels and it restricted my walking capabilities. It was difficult to balance and walk like a normal person. As I was walking towards the table, I was having this conversation in myself…
“What if I fall with the food?
Have I become drunk?
Is this how it feels to be drunk?
Am I so drunk that I almost feel like being sober?”
Over-thinking is one of my hobbies… I finished the food in super-fast speed, Sissy took a little more time than me. As soon as she finished, we booked the cab for home. I was feeling quite energetic even after a long day, thought it was because of the drink. I cleaned my face and changed my dress. I texted my friend telling about my “accomplishments”.
He was like, “Huh! People don’t get drunk just by having one cocktail. You dumb!” I didn’t ruin Sissy’s day and didn’t drunk-text anyone but I was so disappointed after knowing that I was so far from being drunk.
For all the evening I tried so hard to get drunk and be sober at the same time and now you are telling me one cocktail was not enough?
Are you kidding me right now?
So this was my experience of drinking for the first time… I’m yet to get drunk, maybe some day.
My final thought on this… this is just a one-time thing I wanted to experience. I never love the idea of losing my sense or getting addicted to something. It is my personal choice. I have nothing against people who drink or who don’t.