Summary : June 2018 #145

Half of 2018 is over. It feels like yesterday we had New Year’s Day. Anyways, here’s how I wasted the 6th month of this year.

1. My first goal was to be focused on the assignments. Comparing to the previous month I worked a little better on this. But it’s still not good enough! I need to get better and better. I always try to push things away to a point after which it just gets worse. It’s like I have this unrealistic belief in myself that I can read all that the night before the exam, I can finish 90 exercises in 7 days, that I couldn’t do in past 6 months.

2. The second goal was to get myself into drawing. I couldn’t attend any art class in my life but I always had some kind of love for drawing and painting. Probably every other kid has that, I don’t know. Years of stress of high school, getting admission into a good college, getting good grades, getting a job… everything came one after another. And that something I loved so dearly slide away from me.

This month, I could spend a little time on drawing and I’m glad that I did. Currently my mind is sort of blank, I cannot think of creative things to draw. I have started with few art works that I loved and tried recreating them. Some of them turned out better than what I expected, some of them didn’t. That’s okay. Till now, I am doing it just plainly with a HB pencil that I found. No colors, no complicated stuffs.

3. The next goal was slightly different from the other months. I needed to bring change in my “fashion” (it’s only disaster not fashion!) I went for shopping and bought 2 tops and a pant. Buying clothes was a little more challenging this time. Normally, I walk into the store, look at the clothes, find the dresses that are most basic and comfortable, covering my body fully. Most of them are like loose and least attractive I would say. Whenever people tell me, “You are so skinny!” I feel like answering them, “You know nothing! You don’t see the layers of fat protecting my sexy body underneath this oversized kurti. I wish my wallet was as THICC as these thighs I’ve got!”

At the same time I had to keep the budget in my mind. So every time I encountered a super expensive cute dress I had this conversation in my mind, “Do I really need this? Where am I gonna wear this? Is this the correct size? Will utility of the dress be greater than utility of the money saved not buying this?” and so on. However, I got the dresses, now I have to wear them whenever possible! Dresses are so expensive these days, buying a new dress means skipping outside food for the rest of the month.

4. The next thing was to treat my hair. Chemically treated hair needs a lot more care and maintenance. A few months back I got this ayurvedic hair oil that claims to prevent hair fall. It’s written to use on daily basis. That’s not practical at all. It’s greasy and smells terrible, it stains the clothes. Also you can get cold from leaving it on the scalp for more than 3 hours. I am using it on weekends blocking all my plans to go outside. I will continue to use it till I finish the 2 bottles. I would share the results with you after that.

5. Taking up a healthy move- Why do I have this kind of goals! I’m having special K of Kellogg’s in breakfast for a while now. I don’t see any difference. Eating one healthy meal doesn’t suffice if you are eating junk foods for the rest of the day. This goal was not a full success for that.

6. Reading newspaper everyday- This was a great thing to start. I did it everyday except weekends. Just the headlines and opinions. Dad spends hours reading the whole newspaper. It doesn’t happen in one day. There’s a lot of things happening in India and in the world and life is not as great as it seems to be on social media. It’s not entertaining or soothing, I need to continue this for self awareness.

7. Visiting Sri Ganesha temple- I could not visit Ganesha ji’s temple even though it’s nearby. Fail!

8. FaceBook and blogging support- This is pending as well. I don’t think I am going to get any help from FaceBook support team. Lot of bloggers are facing the same issue since a long time and nobody has given a specific solution to that. There’s no contact person to reach out and seek help. Sometimes some links are blocked by FaceBook, the posts from the pages/groups do not appear on people’s feed.

9. Reviewing pending drafts- I kept this in my list but it’s the least important thing here. Clean up would take time. Another Fail.

Apart from the goals and planned stuffs there were a lot more that happened this month. There were major changes in the team I worked in. Basically everybody just moved out of the team and there are just 3 people including me in the team now. The managers decided to reduce the size of the team and suddenly it’s just too much on us. I would talk about that in another post.

I visited Shilparamam recently. It’s like small market in Hyderabad. There are jewelry, furniture, handcrafts, clothes to buy. They have a park as well which I didn’t see the first time when I visited this. It was not crowded at the time when I went- that’s the best part of it. Here are some photos of it.