Attending a Big Fat Indian Wedding : Engagement #108

It was the day after I returned to Hyderabad from visiting my hometown when Sandeep called me to attend his engagement ceremony. I knew Sandeep from work; he had been on my team before I joined, and then he moved to another team when I was hired. Some of Sandeep’s former teammates still worked with me, and they told me about him. We used to have lunch together.

Even though I never really discussed personal matters with Sandeep, I knew bits and pieces of his personal life because he used to talk about it with my teammates during lunchtime. So, I knew he had a girlfriend. Sandeep was around 28 years old and had been dating Sikha since high school. It’s been quite a while, but Sandeep’s family didn’t know about their relationship. It took a lot of courage for him to confess his love to his parents, and he planned it carefully. First, he told his mom and convinced her. One day, before switching off his phone on a flight, Sandeep’s father was talking to him. He used that call as an opportunity to tell his father about his girlfriend so that he had enough time to think about it before discussing it with anyone or getting angry. Then there were many discussions and family meetups from both sides until they fixed the wedding date.

For my last South Indian wedding invitation, I didn’t know what to expect. Wedding invitations usually mean delicious food and admiring how beautifully the girls dress up in an Indian wedding (they look absolutely stunning!). Please don’t judge me, but that’s all I think about when it comes to a wedding. Bengalis have a special love for food, especially non-vegetarian dishes. We can’t imagine a wedding dinner without plenty of chicken or mutton starters and main courses. However, I knew that Sandeep was a vegetarian and meat would be the last thing on his mind for his wedding menu. So half of my motivation was already gone. Nevertheless, I had to attend his engagement even if none of my expectations were met!😅

I didn’t have a suitable dress to wear to both the office and his engagement ceremony because I had to come straight from work. My mom gave me an outdated salwar suit, but it didn’t matter. I was only there for a short time. I met Sandeep and Sikha, congratulated them, took a few group photos with them and my other colleagues who attended the engagement, had lunch, and left. Surprisingly, they had some non-vegetarian dishes available which saved my lunch. Unfortunately, I couldn’t stay to witness all the rituals. When looking through the photos of the day, it was hard to find my face. I was in the last row, farthest from the bride and groom – almost pushed out of the frame!😓

There were a few things about the engagement that surprised me. Sandeep was dressed in a bright yellow suit with ornaments. I struggle to understand people’s fashion choices. Years later, I learned that Sandeep didn’t pick any of the clothes he wore for his wedding. He said, “I let my elders choose what they wanted me to wear. I just wanted them to be happy!” This made me respect him even more!

Sandeep’s family was wealthy, but you couldn’t tell by knowing him at the office. He was humble, down-to-earth, and hardworking. He always brought simple homemade lunches and drove an old car to work.

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