Things that I wish you had told me #104

Dear Mom,

Please don’t think this as your failure pointed out by me. I’m not a mother yet. Even when I’ll be, I might never be as good as you are. I have never compared you with any other mom because that’s pointless. You’re the best for me and you will always be. Still there are a few things I wish you were the first person to tell me.

Period is a real thing

Remember that time when you told me about period? When was it?

Sorry but it never happened. We didn’t have internet back then. I never trusted the kids of my age to enlighten me. Neither there was anybody who felt the necessity to teach me this undeniable truth of my life. I was so terrified after my first period. We never had a real talk on period.

Your body is more than what you see

I grew up without knowing my body. I never knew that it’s so delicate and how deeply it’s connected to my mind. I didn’t know that I have to protect my body from all those unwanted stares and touches. I wish you had told me about the perils that are lurking around me.

You need to wear a bra now

Yes. After a lot of hesitation finally I asked you to buy me one. Probably it was too late but how could I know? I must have been laughed at by people for being such an ignorant.

You should love yourself. Be confident about your body.

No. You didn’t call me fat/thin/kala( dark)/ugly. But when people made me feel ugly you didn’t tell me what was wrong in that. I should have been confident about my skin tone, my body shape, my hair and teeth. Rather I completely broke down and felt like a piece of shit. You told me that I was beautiful but I guess that wasn’t enough.

Beauty and body care

The way make-up has been addressed in my family, I always thought that the sole objective of make-up is to attract guys. It took 23 years of my life to understand that make-up is far more than that. It’s an art. It’s also a way to feel good about yourself.

I was the bag of potatoes among the prince and princesses. I don’t remember a time you suggested me to do something to make me look better. Oh, you thought I was beautiful, right? I get it.

You don’t need to cry over temporary people

I wish we had a close friendship. I wish you were the person with whom I could share all the pain I was bearing in my heart. No, I hate talking about all of my problems with my friends. There has been time when I completely detached myself from the external world and all I wanted to cry on your shoulder.

Have time for your passion

I was crushed under the pressure of people’s expectation. I had no goal of my own. I was running in a rat race. I wish that you had told me, “Honey, you’re doing well. We’re proud of you. Where do you want to see yourself in future?”

Serious talk about hope, belief and life

It’s been quite a while that our family is going through a lot of stress. For external pressures I can hardly share the burden of your heart. But do you know that I’m also going through a lot? You just want to know good things from me. But somedays, all my hopes for a happy and better life are drained. I might manage to hide my problems from you but I might fail to pretend to be a happy person. Somedays I die to hear “Don’t worry Beta, everything’s gonna be alright” from you.

I wouldn’t write good things to cover it up. You know how much I love you. You are the best mom, I just wanted you to be my best friend too. Love.

~ your daughter.

Post Author: Molten Cookie Dough

A typical Pisces person.

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