It’s the 100th story on the book of my life. I don’t see it as a great achievement yet there’s nothing wrong to feel a little good about it either.
When I started writing, it was the time when I had literally nobody to talk to except my family and just 2 friends. I used to feel like a robot to go to office and do my work and come home. It seemed to me that I was carrying a weight in my heart. No matter wherever I go, whatever I do, my heart didn’t feel better for long. My mind was full of chaos. A chaos that embraced my failures, my bad decisions and my inability to keep up with the ever-changing surrounding.
This is not a piece of writing having top notch quality yet I permitted myself to atleast try to write it down.
I permitted myself to be free from the fear of being judged.
I permitted myself to write the stupidest thing I could think about to keep myself away from the dark thoughts.
And in this process I kind of started enjoying myself.
After writing this many blogs, it’s been easier for me to understand what is the pain point. What is bothering me more than anything? What is the first thing that comes to my mind when I seat for writing? I found that I cried over particular things over and over again. The stories have proved that.
You can’t fight a battle without knowing what are you fighting against. Unknown enemies are the most dangerous in kind. Sometimes that unknown enemy resides in your mind. It’s the little voice inside you that tells you,
“You are fat. Ugly. You are never get the love you deserve. You can’t do this. You can’t do that. What would society think if you do this? You don’t have to be yourself. You worth nothing.” And it goes on.
Once you understand that a part of yours is just jealous of you, doubtful about your abilities, just treat it as noise that you don’t have to spare your time on.
Stay well. Stay blessed. Much love. ❤
