A couple of months ago, I posted a story about a weird dream that I had. It’s not that I always have meaningful dreams but sometimes it has greater impact on me than it should have been.
Ritz is a nice guy of my age group who works with me. Last time, when I dreamt about him (first time in my life) we were not even friends. In my dream he was close to me like my boyfriend or someone like that. Honestly speaking, I have no idea why my subconscious mind thought that it was a good idea to mess with the feelings that I didn’t have for him. The following day was kind of embarrassing for me to talk to him even when I told nobody about it. I wrote a story here about it and moved on.
Months passed, Ritz and I have been working together, we became friends but our friendship couldn’t cross the boundaries of our office premises. Several times I felt like being specially treated by him or perhaps it was just me being delusional. It’s been quite a long time since I’m single, I am not even looking for someone. A treacherous voice inside my head keeps on telling me how badly I need someone else’s company to feel happy and safe, to feel alive and a complete human-being.
All these thoughts came back to me last week when I dreamt Ritz once again. Neither did I understand it properly nor do I remember the complete thing. But I remember this part clearly…
He was working in his computer, I was looking at him…
“You can hold one of my hands”, he said while typing.
How could I disobey him?
I hardly know this guy. I can’t explain it to myself why it keeps on happening. I probably shouldn’t be stressed about a stupid dream and force myself to think he’s into me.
Recently, we were told to come in shifts in my office. That means few will come in morning shifts(6 a.m. to 2 p.m.) and evening shifts(2 p.m. to 11 p.m.). Rest all will maintain general timings as usual. 2 people will be selected from the team to come in shifts on every week. I being a pathetic idiot misunderstood the concept. I thought 2 people together will come in morning/evening shift. Whereas the actual scenario is one will come in the morning and the other will come in the evening. I asked Ritz to join me in the shift. He was super excited and agreed with me. In my mind I was still thinking that we were to come together and I would get some chance to talk to him and he wanted that too! I literally lost it when I realized that I convinced him to come in different shift and we won’t even see each other for that week.
But Cookie why does it matter? You told that you don’t have any feelings for him? … or do you? Really? Are you such a stupid?
Well, I don’t know. *nervous laugh*