The sense of Self-importance #45

It was one of those usual days, I came back from office and found piles of dishes, buckets of dirty clothes and empty water bottles scattering on the floor. This is how I leave my room in the morning. So this becomes inevitable to deal with this mess after coming back. The first thing that I do always is filling the bottles and drink some water. Then starts the battle between self control and responsibilities. By any chance if I end up in YouTube for any reason, all my works (doing dishes, laundry, cooking, cleaning, taking a shower and occasional studies) will be delayed for at least 2-3 hours. Now my hostel room is at one extreme end, having the common water-filter and freezer at the other end. So I need to walk to the other end of the corridor for minimum 5-6 times a day. Most of the girls on our floor prefer to stay in their room with doors closed. But some prefer otherwise for better ventilation. The 2 girls staying just next to my room keep their door wide open. Unintentionally while walking in the corridor everyday I have eye contact with one of the girls. It happens for barely a second or so while crossing that room. For past few days, I found their door closed. Yesterday, when I was passing by, I heard one of the girls complaining to the other about how people see inside their room. The speaker’s irritation was clear from the pitch of her voice. “Well, it must be me whom they were talking about!”, I thought.

Probably that one second long eye contact with her has caused her utter discomfort or I might have appeared to be highly interested in her hot effing mess! But why is she giving herself so much of importance! If a door is open, people will involuntarily look inside, that doesn’t mean they have special interest to have a view of her room. Anyway I didn’t think further about this.

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Today a guy came to me and asked for  suggestion. ( Background: This guy knows me for like 1 month. As we work on a common thing, I have good interaction with him.) He planned a family trip next month that eventually collided with an interview date. Now he’s not sure which one he should take up. I suggested him to attend the interview and then plan for that trip. Moments after that he cancelled his flight tickets for the trip. It seemed to me as if my “valuable suggestion” made him to take that sudden decision. As I have great pleasure in over-thinking, I took this simple thing to another level and started wordering, “I must be important! That’s why he followed what I said.” The truth is different from my fantasy. The guy must have already discussed it with his other friends or maybe he would cancel the tickets even if he wouldn’t have asked for my opinion.

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You must be wondering how the heck this two random incidents are even remotely related to the title? The point is that we all have a sense of self importance in some way. If for the time’s sake you ignore the other external factors of our action and line of thinking, you will find that we like to think ourselves important, which obviously we are. Everyone is important. We always prefer to interprete a situation giving more weightage to our role. Unintentionally also we do this all the time. That’s why I ended up in an unrealistic conclusion when that guy immediately cancelled that tickets and the girl next door thought that she must be interesting to look at. But why do we forget our importance when people try to pin us down? Why is it difficult to remember that we can embrace our uniqueness when people want us to be in a certain way? Where does this sense of self importance go when somebody treats us like trash? Why this sense doesn’t drive us to raise our voice when something unfair is happening to us? There are many instances like this, where we actually underestimate/ignore/don’t realise our importance.

Post Author: Molten Cookie Dough

A typical Pisces person.

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