The Sense of Self-importance #45

It was a typical day. I came home to find piles of dishes, buckets of dirty clothes, and empty water bottles scattered on the floor—the way I left my room in the morning. So I had to deal with this mess when I got back. The first thing I always do is fill up the bottles and drink some water. Then comes the battle between self-control and responsibility. If by chance YouTube sucks me in, all my work (doing dishes, laundry, cooking, cleaning, taking a shower, occasional studies) will be delayed for two or three hours.

My hostel room is at one end of the corridor; there’s a common water filter and freezer at the other end—so five or six times each day I have to walk down there. Most girls on our floor keep their doors closed; but some leave them open for better ventilation. The two girls next door usually keep theirs wide open., until recently! Yesterday while passing their room I heard one girl complaining about people seeing inside—and her irritation was clear from her voice pitch! “That must be me they’re talking about!”, I thought guiltily.

I probably made her uncomfortable with that one-second eye contact, or I might have seemed too interested in her hot mess! But why is she giving herself so much importance? If a door is open, people will look inside involuntarily; that doesn’t mean they’re particularly interested in what’s inside. Anyway, I didn’t think more about it.

Today a guy asked me for advice. We’ve known each other for about a month, as we work on something together and have good interactions. He had planned a family trip next month that collided with an interview date and wasn’t sure which to take up, so I suggested he attend the interview then plan the trip. Moments after, he cancelled his flight tickets – it seemed my “valuable suggestion” made him take this sudden decision. As I tend to overthink things, I took it to another level and thought “I must be important! That’s why he followed what I said.” But in reality, he probably discussed it with others or would’ve cancelled the tickets even without asking me first.

Are you wondering how these two random incidents relate to the title? The point is that we all feel important in some way. If we ignore external factors and focus on our own actions and thoughts, we tend to think of ourselves as important—which, of course, we are. Everyone is important! We usually interpret situations with more weight given to our role. Unintentionally, this happens all the time. That’s why I came to an unrealistic conclusion when that guy cancelled tickets and the girl next door thought she must be interesting-looking.

But why do we forget our importance when people try to pin us down? Why is it hard for us to remember that we can embrace our uniqueness when others want us to conform? Where does this sense of self-importance go when someone treats us poorly? Why doesn’t it motivate us to speak up against unfairness? There are many instances like this where we underestimate or ignore or don’t realize our importance.

Thanks for stopping by to hear my rambling! Check out my next blog here.