It’s weekend and the golden time of the weekend (from Friday night till Saturday) is about to over.
Today, it has been a little different from my other weekends. Usually I sleep to make the most out of the “golden time” skipping my breakfast, lunch, shower(yeah I know that’s gross!), dinner, plans to go out, washing clothes, pile of pending works etc. I dedicate Sunday for sleeping and regretting about Saturday.
Today I woke up at about 9 AM with a terribly bad mood. Normally after 8 or 9 hours of sleep when people get up, they start their day with a fresh mind. And there is me, stressing over things that don’t even exist! Now coming to the point.
I was sad because I found my boyfriend cheating on me in my dreams. Reality is: I am single and I have currently nobody in my mind except celebrities. So practically that imaginary low life doesn’t deserve my attention. I got distracted from this topic after a few hour.
Last night I had been mean with one of my family members(Dolly). At that point, I didn’t realize my fault. But today after receiving a text full of anguish and disappointment from Dolly, I found myself guilty. Last night she asked me for some help and I didn’t address her problem with the sincerity she expected. So today she wrote me a-thanks-for-everything kind of message. I could clearly help her but this late realization cannot change anything. Dolly had to face trouble just because I acted like an irresponsible selfish person. Though I knew that what I did was wrong, my mind was constantly trying to defend for my meanness. So this was kind of a argument was going on inside me.
Me: I should not feel bad about it. I always help her. If one time I did not do it, she should not deny all the things I did before.
Also me: But why did I not do it? I was not doing anything important that I could not help Dolly. If that was the case, Dolly would not mind. By the way, when did Dolly deny the things I did for her?
Me: People only say “thanks for everything ” and they never mean it. If Dolly really meant it she would have forgiven me considering the past. Rather she chose to make me feel bad for the one time I wasn’t there for her.
Also me: Being a good person is not a choice. One can not simply choose to be good at times and bad at others. If I really think Dolly is important for me, my actions should be aligned with that. She doesn’t deserve the way I treated her. I should go and say sorry to her.
Saying sorry is not as easy as jumping to conclusion. I strongly believe that saying sorry is valueless if I keep on doing the same thing. So most of the time I focus more “the changed behavior” part so that I never repeat the same mistake and eventually forget about saying sorry. That is how I make a mess. The concerned person may or may not observe your changed behavior but a “sorry” is never wasted.
People who are bad at confrontation often fail to prove their true intention. Some people just wait for the other person to forget the incident and don’t say sorry. Some say sorry very easily without truly meaning it from the heart. Best are those who can sincerely apologize or at least express their true intention and make a fresh start.
So you decide the answer of my question. 🙂
That’s all for today. See you in my next blog…
Then vs Now: Texting #27 - Life in a Book(December 23, 2022 - 5:50 pm)
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