Life is boring. We have to find motivation everyday to get going. In reality there are so many things that are affected by each other that you can’t say if they are directly proportional or inversely proportional to the other thing. Now this sounds vague.
So let me put it in this way. Let’s take my blog-writing for example. I’m not an aspiring writer and I don’t get paid for writing this shitty blogs. Writing doesn’t make me feel ecstatic, neither does it make depressed.
Now, coming to point! WordPress has this cool feature known as statistics. So basically I can see how many views my page or post has got. I am not at all curious about the views I get. Because I don’t know on what criteria the views are recorded. Maybe it’s just me, visiting my own page 10 times a day! Or maybe some people actually read the stuff I write here. I don’t know. Today was one of those rare days when I opened the statistics. It was pretty cool to see that I’ve got views more than zero for the last 2 days.
As soon as I saw this, I could hear a mocking voice inside me, “Guess who’s gonna quit the game! Guess who’s gonna cry on the pillow tonight! “ Then I heard another voice, that was rather calm and composed, filled with patience and love – that voice took me down the memory lane and showed how I was drawn to writing and expressing myself even before I could read or write words!!
#1 My mom’s sister lived with us during her college days as her college was nearby from our house. I was barely 1 year old then. She(Mamoni) used to pamper me a lot and we had a great bonding. She married soon after her graduation. Uncle lived in a different city far away from our place. As being a 90’s kid I have seen life without telephone and mobile phone. Although at that time we might have one landline connection but my uncle didn’t. After Mamoni left, I was totally heart-broken, I didn’t understand what exactly happened and missed her a lot. That was also the time, when letters were still popular. My mom used to write letters to Mamoni and from there I got the notion of writing “letters “. What a brilliant idea it was for a kid who barely knew alphabets! I finished a complete diary writing my emotions to her. I made circles and all possible figures and fine arts on the pages to tell Mamoni that how much I missed her. Later when she came to visit us, mom handed over my “letter” to Mamoni. So that’s how I started writing.
#2 After few years I became literate! Then I could write proper letters. My mom used to write to her parents at that time, as phones were still not available in every house-hold. So I used to write letters along with her. The deal was, my mom used to write letters once in every 3-4 months. But I wrote letters for them every week/every month. None of those letters was sent because eventually many of them were lost and I would definitely write a fresh letter when it was time for my parents to drop the letters to post office. So during my 1st or 2nd standard if you would have searched into my desk you could find piles of letters written to my loved ones. Even though I knew it was not feasible to send letters every week, it did not stop me from writing those letters. I was that much passionate!
#3 When I was in middle school, telephones and mobile phones had successfully replaced letter writing. So my letter writing kind of stopped there. Then I started writing diaries. I wrote down every hot mess of my life during that course of time. I was such a snob! I can’t even imagine how much melodramas are kept inside those diaries.
#4 My diary writing continued till high school as I could not take the risk to write the things I did in college. The content evolved with time. As a kid, I used to write stories, poems. As a teenager my crushes occupied more pages than imagination. And as a would be adult there were lots of opinions that differed with my family and I had to obey them. So my diary became the memoir of everything. During college days too, I wrote few things but they no more hold much value to me.
So there is one thing common in this all memories. Even when I didn’t know how to spell words, even when I had a busy life, even when my letter had no recipient, no destination, I wrote.
Now I’ve become an adult, I have bills to pay, responsibilities to take care of but there must be something that has always kept me interested in writing. So as a final note, I must admit that low or no views might affect me a little bit for the time being, but that must never make second-guess how much I loved sharing my thoughts, emotions and memories with the world in the first place.
Moral of the story is don’t let the bump on your way to fool you thinking that you didn’t love the journey in the first place…
If you loved reading my rambling here, you may click on the next story here. Thanks for reading!